The First Trimester

They call it morning sickness.

Though it tends to last all day.

Rendering me pretty much useless. And let’s face it, a little irritable.

I found out I was pregnant in March of this year. Since we had conceived our first son quickly, we had high hopes it would be the same this time around. And I found myself scanning my body for tell-tale signs just days after my first missed period.

Do my boobs look bigger?

A faint pink line indicating that, yes they did.

Immediately I went into planning mode, which consisted of me assaulting my husband at all hours of the day and night with new gadgets that had hit the market in the last four years. Names that sounded a lot cooler in my head before I said them out loud. And of course, the legitimate but overblown fears that come with suddenly becoming a vessel carrying life.

Do you think the bath water is too hot?

Zapping my body from head to toe with our digital thermometer, trying to determine whether my body temperature had risen to above 102 degrees. Apparently not an easy thing to do. But something that has unreasonably struck fear in me in both pregnancies.

Soon enough I was too tired to worry reasonable or otherwise. Too tired do much of anything at all. The basics started to slide. Cooking. Cleaning. Personal hygiene. As I drifted through a sleepy haze of nausea. The body flooded with hormones rerouting energy from normal everyday functions to baby making mode. What was merely a blob at two months turning into a pretty legitimate shaped something or other by three months complete with a head, arms and legs. Waving enthusiastically, as if to say:

See ma, it was all worth it.

By thirteen weeks, I was having more good days than bad. And now, at seventeen weeks, my energy is back in (almost) full force. My boobs are much bigger. Much to my husband’s delight. And so is my belly. Just at the point where it’s starting to throw off my balance. And bump into things if I’m not paying attention.

My little buddy. Not quite kicking yet. But shifting and moving in noticeable ways. On top of my bladder. Slightly to the side. A tiny, yet firm bulge near my belly button. Ready for the next few months that will hopefully see the return of more normal looking behavior and activity. Less like a zombie and more like someone who showers on a regular basis.

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